Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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