Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
