seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
