i already hear my dad disowning me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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