My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
