Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
