i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
