you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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