I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am available for nakedness
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
