I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
