if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
