Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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