i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
