I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
