im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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