Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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