He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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