Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
