sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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