guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
