So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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