That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
