white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize