Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
