his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
