My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
