FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
