I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
