A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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