if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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