apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
