This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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