If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
