They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Panties = found
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize