stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
