I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
