i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize