Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
