i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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