Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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