Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
