Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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