do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
