I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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