Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize