Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
