I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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