I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
