And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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