I think my vagina is haunted
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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