hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
