Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So vagazzling was a success
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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