Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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