Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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