Buhtt sex?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
worst night to have a conscience
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
