we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
