His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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