I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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