We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
