I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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