we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
