you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize