So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
A bitchslap is in order.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
