used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
please come you make the beer taste better
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
