You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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