just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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