You're my little dorito
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
