My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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