she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
