Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
