Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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