Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
id be glad to
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
