So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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