It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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