He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
