She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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